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i havent been on in a while, because i havent felt the need.
whats the time?
rant time!
(about my arguement i had with my mom and dad)
so i didnt go to IOP today, big deal!
i didnt feeel like going.
IN FACT, instead i binged. cuckoocachooo.
and i didnt want to go to IOP because we have meal group and i knew i wouldnt want to eat after the binge.
so my dad called me and was all "you can't go to soccer practice if you dont go to therapy! //i am just now getting inside your corner, to where i finally understand you.// you are finally getting better//i hope you make the right decision//yadayadayada"
anyways, my parents got home and they brought me to their room and we tried to talk about my 'issues'
it ended up with me getting an attidude and my dad flipping out.
he ran over to me, grabbed my elbow, and would have punched me if my mom had not stepped in the way.
i wish he had, i wish he had showed me how much he hates me, i wish that i could physically see how much he hates the person that has fucked up his life.

how can you punish someone for not going to therapy?
its a choice, i have the choice to get better, i have a choice to do this for myself.
they wont even force my brother to go to therapy and he 'moved out' yesterday and came back in less than 10hours.
not even a day on his own.
me and him are so screwed up and my parents see us as lesser beings, like they an just shove everything down our throats.
well we arent and i am not about to let them think that they can.
i am my own independent person, thanks.
im going on a fast. 
i am going to do whatever i feel like.
this is me, this is my life.
i am sick of feeling like i have to stick to everybodys expectations of me.
no more, you are in control of me no longer.

i sound so immature, im sorry.



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